Burnt Bridges

Never a good thing in my opinion, but saying that, it is only just my opinion.  Sometimes however, it seems impossible to walk over that bridge without burning it, especially if you are on fire!!  So how do you keep it all under check and control and not set the blaze free when your seething?  For me, it's called wisdom straight from my Father above.  It's not easy at all but it's possible.  I am currently crossing that bridge.  I have every right to burn that baby down and reek havoc along the way.  Or do I?  Can my anger and actions be justified?  Of course they can, we always have a way of doing that, wouldn't you say.  Do I even NEED that bridge to cross back over ever?  Probably not.  Does the situation deserve my vengeance?  Some say absolutely.  Could I be held to blame in doing so?  Most would not blame me at all, after all, they would.  Hmmmm........when is it okay to dish out to someone what they deserve in your mind?  NEVER.  That's a hard one folks.  I'm doing my absolute best to cross this bridge and the journey over it seems unending.  Opportunities keep presenting themselves challenging me to light it on fire and not look back.  I often feel like the other party involved challenges me to do so just so they can justify their harmful actions and lay blame at my feet.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Oh the high road is so very lonely, but it is one I will travel on this particular journey.  I give my enemy no ammunition to toss my way.  I pray for strength and patience.  After all, it's only a bridge and on the other side something huge is waiting on me.  My flesh battles daily with the situation and I struggle to keep it all in check.  I'm almost over the bridge and so far  through the help of my Father I have not lashed out and inflicted harm (which I know is in me).  It's never fun to see the ugly in you and know what damage it could do if released.  I know I will make it over and my enemy, though he may spew untruths regarding me and the situation, the truth can not be hidden for long and I will know in my heart that I did the right thing, not the worldly thing, but the right thing in the end.  That I can sleep with peacefully. 

I'm I a sucker? maybe? maybe not!

I'm sure it can be seen miles away.  Not sure if I've always been this way my whole life, but now I know I am.  Why am I a sucker?  Here is why......I always see the best in people, often I don't even think or even imagine they can be anything other than what they present themselves to be to me.  I don't look for hidden agendas, or strategic movements on their behalf to take advantage.  I trust people.  Often it's only after being shown true character by either someone else pointing it out to me or by receiving actions of someones bad character that I'm exposed to it.   Others see things I don't see.  Is it because I'm not looking and they are?  Not sure about any of it but I know it blows my mind what some people see and believe right, when in my heart it is so very wrong.  I stand in amazement at how people can destroy other people and not even blink an eye but totally justify it.  That is not in me and I'm so thankful.  If it's in you, please don't reveal it to me.  I don't want to see ugly.  I've been told that I need to open my eyes to what others purposefully strive at.  And while this is true in some ways, it others ways, it is not for me to see, judge or change.  I know that you reap what you sow and when morals and value and characters are revealed to me that leave me saying......I can't believe this person would do that, my flesh rises up and knowing that in some cases (not all) I have been blessed to yield power to change it's path and destroy before being destroyed. Knowing this does not give me permission to do so.  Such a difficult battle for me and a test I pray I pass.  Wisdom is discerning when to turn the tables on an unjust person and when to walk away and let the reaping and sowing take place.  Abstaining from a hardened heart, and finding peace and joy from within knowing that the surroundings your standing in will potentially harm all that you've worked for.  I pray for those who choose to do whatever it takes with no regards to others lives.  I pray for the Lords vengeance to rise up and not my own for ultimately it is not my battle for I am His child and He is my Protector.  So maybe I am a sucker to believe the best in people but I have no doubt that God sees the best in me.......even when I'm undeserving.  He sees the best in me, so I will continue to choose to see the best in YOU!!