This week for me has been tough. Nothing like feeling like a totally inadequate person. I do realize that I'm in a growth process and growing is awkward. You feel clumsy, stupid, out of place, dumb, useless, just to name a few. I'm here to tell you it's been a long time since I've had to "grow" in this capacity. I'm outside my comfort zone yet at peace with it. I just have to keep reminding myself to do the best I can and allow God to do whatever it is he is doing in me and allow the growth, accept the inadequacies, learn and overcome all the shortcomings and be the best I can be. I now know that I could not of accomplished this type of growth a few years ago. God's kinda awesome like that, he knows just what you need when you need it. So here I am, feeling all grrrrr.... why can't if figure all this stuff out and be able to do more. Have I ever mentioned I'm pretty good at throwing myself little pitty parties? Hmm...well, if not, shhhh, don't tell anyone but I sometimes do that. Anyway, feeling like I'm not learning fast enough, starting to question myself in more areas than I care to admit and God says, BAM!! Quit looking at you and look at ME!
Exhausted from exercising my brain, I decided to just show a dvd at youth group last night. The kids worked so hard on their Easter program so I thought it would be a nice change. We watched a dvd called INDESCRIBABLE. And God said BAM!! Again! I know!! Crazy!! But HE did!! Look at ME, now go back and look and you and all your teeny tiny world. This dvd shows you just how BIG God is in comparison to our universe. It describes how HE can measure HIS creation in the span of HIS hand in a way that makes your jaw drop. My youth were just sitting there with their mouths wide open saying WOW, soooo cool. Then it took us to Jesus and the cross and His love for us and how small we are compared to how Big HE is and what He did for us and how much He loves us and we are all like.....Ummm.....amazing God. That was my pity party exit right there.
No more time to waste on the rain, because without the rain, we would never be truly able to appreciate the sunshine.
Sometimes we all get so caught up in our day to day problems, when all we have to do is look to our left or to our right and see someone else's pain or hurt and appreciate or realize that our own is insignificant in comparison. Our pain is nothing compared to our neighbors who may possibly be in the midst of tragedy, nor will it ever come close to the suffering that Jesus went through for us. I guess for me, I must of needed an attitude adjustment yesterday and my loving Father so gently nudged me and moved my focus from me to Him and others. So so thankful and so blessed.
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